so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize