Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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