OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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