just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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