If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't turn off my feet"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
