My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
