I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize