he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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