I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
