So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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