My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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