brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
