after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
