Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize