You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
