Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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