whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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