Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
