he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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