On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
