so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
