it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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