Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
