he wants to bone in the snuggie
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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