he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
