What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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