The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
