Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
