What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
