You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize