Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
