Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
