I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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