And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
