so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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