I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So squirting runs in the family.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
