tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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