There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it glows. i had to have it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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