Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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