New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
