So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
