I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
