I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
