So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He did a backflip because drugs
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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