So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
