you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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