ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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