it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
