You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
