We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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