we're blogging at a bar
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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