I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
