so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
And then he peed in my hair
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