I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
