Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
