shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I won the penis lottery.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
