Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
