can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
