your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
