how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
