They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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