You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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