sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize