I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
