i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize