just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
