Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
