Screwed.edu
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
