And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize