My brain says no but my pants say off.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
they're like a gay fantastic four
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
