Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize