Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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