turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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